Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Is it a '6' or is it a 'b'?

UPDATE: My address has been corrected, and NatWest did contact me today as they said they would. They are looking for the missing form, and have promised to call me tomorrow to update me on the search. Thank you for that call today. The person I spoke to went a long long way to restoring my faith in the organisation.

NOTE: What follows was written before the above call, while I was seething with rage at the situation in which I found myself and the seeming impossibility of getting out of it.

When NatWest Direct Business Banking originally entered my business address into their system, they left out an important part. I needed to get it changed, and that meant filling out a form and mailing it to them. This is apparently the only possible way to change an address with NatWest Direct Business Banking.

Anyway, I submitted the form via a branch having now learned the folly of not creating a paper trail.

Two weeks went by as I moved office, changed my address with every other company I deal with (all trouble free), and settled in to the new place. I looked at my to do list, and decided I better follow up NatWest just to make sure all was well.

It wasn't.

Turns out some poor sole was unable to decide whether the '6' in '122/176' was a '6' or a 'b'. As it was impossible to tell, NatWest Direct Business Banking took the idiotic decision to do nothing at all.

They didn't phone and ask. They didn't write to me. They didn't email me. They didn't do anything.

On what planet is it acceptable to simply discard a form and go back to sleep? How is this 'helpful banking?' Have I somehow wandered into an alternative universe where this is acceptable business behaviour?

It might surprise you to know that after 3 months of being trapped in a sort of business banking hell, I wasn't very pleased. But it gets worse. The other form I sent in at the same time, which will correct a mistake on my part and is the underlying cause of the trouble I'm having with them, did not arrive at the Business Banking Unit. It has been lost.

Their solution to my woe? I should submit another form.

Ha ha ha ha ha! Good one NatWest.

You've already taught me that submitting forms to you is nothing more than a game to amuse your staff. I'm tired of jumping through the flaming hoops you place in my path, merely for the amusement of your staff. 

NOTE: Overnight they changed their mind, and have now amended my address without requiring that I send them another form. Hooray!

I've made yet another complaint, and have been promised that somebody will call me back today. I have the local ambulance service on standby just in case this actually happens, because I will need somebody to restart my heart if it does.

NOTE: They did call. A heart massage wasn't required.

What I want from you, NatWest Direct Business Banking, is a call from somebody with the power, authority and IQ to fix this damn mess you've created for me.

Stop telling me to send you things that you'll lose, and put things right. Immediately. Today. Over the phone. You have my number. Use it.

NOTE: OK, so I didn't get it sorted. I'm still in that strange circle of hell where it's not possible for me to get Internet banking, which is essential to the operation of my business. My finger's are crossed. I can get Internet banking once they find that damn form. I will be most interested to see how quickly I get it, given the length of time they've had my application.


Kim said...

I found myself chucking as I read this. Everyone has had similiar issues and can certainly identify with you.

Lead Generation said...

I'm having a similar problem with santander, even though they have sent a letter from the branch to my house as proof of id, apparently im not who i say i am because that letter could of been sent from any one! - they created the letter in front of me which i signed! Madness!